he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
