I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
