Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
