so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
