Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
