I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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