If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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