Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
