you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
