Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
