everyone is single if you try hard enough
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
