I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
