he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize