Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is wine microwaveable?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
