Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
