I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
