i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize