The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
