Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
