Already got asked if we're dating
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
