Sponge bath it is.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
