u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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