Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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