Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
