Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
