you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
As shirtless as possible
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
