She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm like, not good at living.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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