I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
