I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
