Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
