don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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