have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
