at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
