That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
