quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize