I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
