This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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