pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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