She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
