The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
3 2 1 whiskey
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
