all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
