I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
