return my video game
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
