Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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