So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
