News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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