Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
how does that bad decision feel?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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