the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i think i just naturally attract stoners
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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