addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize