Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I want her autograph on my taint
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
